


Ask

by mania_jests



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8821711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mania_jests/pseuds/mania_jests
Summary: “I’ve said ‘ask’ too many times and now it sounds weird.”
Dan procrastinated from confessing his feelings by testing out Phil’s hypothesis.  “Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask.”
Phil immediately joined him.  “Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask.”
“Ask, ask, ask, ask, askaskaskaskaskask - okay, yep, it’s gone weird.”
“Yep,” agreed Phil with a small laugh.  “So what were you gonna ask me?”





	

“Alright, I can’t stand it anymore.”

Dan froze as Louise suddenly took him by the arm and forcibly dragged him into his own living room. “Can’t stand what, exactly?”

“The pining,” she explained with a slight grumble. “It’s completely unbearable. I’ve decided that you’re going to ask Phil out. I’ve made reservations for dinner. Tonight.”

Dan paused. “While I’m very glad that you’ve given this so much thought, I’m afraid I’ll have to give it a pass.”

“Why not? Your single, he’s single, what’s stopping you?”

He pretended to mull over the question. “Well, I was rather hoping to die alone some place far, far away, preferably in a blaze of destructive glory with one or two witty quips about existentialism.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” she said with an exasperated sigh. “This isn’t a matter of life or death; it’s just dinner so just ask already!”

“Ask what?”

Dan nearly jumped at the mere sound of Phil’s voice. “When did you get home?”

“Not too long ago.” Phil flashed Dan and Louise a suspicious look. “Are you two conspiring against me?”

Dan and Louise gave each other a look, before answering Phil together in-sync. “Yes.”

Phil’s eyes darted between the two, before shrugging. “Well, okay then.”

“Dan was actually just about to ask you something,” drawled out Louise in a deliberate casual air. She gave Dan a look that suggested a slow and painful death should he weasel out. “Weren’t you, Dan?” She suddenly glanced at her wrist as though she were wearing a watch (she wasn’t) and made a beeline for their front door. “Oh would you look at the time? I best be off, talk soon!”

—

Phil started after Louise but she was already halfway down the stairs. “Bye Louise!” he shouted before looking back at Dan in apparent confusion. “That was a bit weird.”

Dan tried to think of a clever quip but could only manage, “Yep.”

“What d’you want to ask me?”

Would it be too much to ask to help dispose of Louise’s body later? Dan pushed his murderous thoughts away. “Nothing.”

If Phil could raise an eyebrow, Dan imagined he would have.

“Nothing too important, I mean,” Dan added hastily. “It’s just that… Uh…”

“What?”

“I… was wondering what…” He could feel himself physically recoiling. Dan couldn’t do this. “Did you buy a new fabric softener? Or, like, cologne or something? The house smells different.”

“Trust you to notice that,” Phil replied with a slight flailing of his arms. “I think it might be obsession.”

“No!” Dan shouted out a little too loudly. “No, no, it’s not, it’s a perfectly legitimate question!”

Phil gave him a strange look. “No, it’s Calvin Klein’s Obsession.”

“Oh.”

There was a brief silence as Phil gave Dan a considering look. “Is everything alright?”

Dan rubbed at his temples before sighing. He looked at the ground. “Louise’s booked reservations to a restaurant for tonight. She thinks I should ask someone out on a date for it.”

Phil’s eyebrows raised to his hairline for a second before giving a small admitting nod. “You should, you know.”

Dan raised his head at that. “I should?”

“Yeah, even I can tell you’re pining. Me!”

Dan winced. “You… can?”

Phil gave a one shouldered shrug. “Well, sometimes. At first I thought you had been replaced by an evil robot clone and that your tortured pining related squints were your robot eyes zooming in to take photos of mankind.”

Dan blinked. “Of course you did,” he deadpanned. “What would I even be doing with the photos?

“I don’t know, evil robot clone business?”

“Of course.”

Phil flailed his arms nervously, as though attempting to literally clear the air for his endearing ridiculousness. “But anyway, yes, go ask the person out. Was that what you wanted to ask me? To ask me if you should ask someone out?” He paused and stared into the middle distance. “I’ve said ‘ask’ too many times and now it sounds weird.”

Dan procrastinated from confessing his feelings by testing out Phil’s hypothesis. “Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask.”

Phil immediately joined him. “Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask.”

“Ask, ask, ask, ask, askaskaskaskaskask - okay, yep, it’s gone weird.”

“Yep,” agreed Phil with a small laugh. “So what were you gonna ask me?”

Dan took a deep breath and immediately lost his nerve. “Which black t-shirt should I wear for my date?”

—

“What are you doing here?”

Phil nearly dropped his book, whipping himself around at his unannounced house guest. “Louise, we’ve gone over this, I live here.”

Louise’s arms were folded over her chest. “You’re supposed to be at the restaurant.”

Phil dropped his book down onto the coffee table. “Don’t worry, I practically dragged Dan to his date myself. He’s at the restaurant waiting now.”

Louise’s arms unfolded slowly. “Alone?”

Phil blinked once. Twice. “Well, I didn’t stick around to check who the date was.”

Louise’s face was in her palm in an instant and Phil couldn’t help but be defensive. “It’s none of my business, Louise!”

She held her face in her hand for some time before glancing back up. “You’re so stupid, Phil Lester.”

“Hey, that was uncalled fo-!”

“Dan’s all alone at the restaurant.”

Phil shut up, his expression immediately falling. “His date stood him up?”

Louise didn’t have time to answer. Phil had already grabbed his coat and left.

—

Phil plopped himself down in the seat opposite Dan. “Hello Daniel, I’ll be your date for this evening.”

Dan glanced up from his menu, blinking several times in utter bewilderment. “Uh, what?”

“Also, your original date is a very mean person and I will not be sending them a Christmas card this year.” Phil picked up the drinks menu and quickly scanned through the beer list. “Who are they anyway? They are officially off my Christmas list.”

“No Phil.”

“Too harsh?”

Dan snorted. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Okay, so gimmie their name.”

“No.”

“C’mon!”

“No.”

“I only need a name!”

“What are you? An assassin off Game of Thrones?”

Phil mocked gasped. “Who told you?”

The little laugh that escaped Dan took him by surprise and he found himself shaking his head and being truthful. “I can’t give you a name because I didn’t even ask them.” Dan busied himself into looking through his own menu. “I lost my nerve.”

“So you were just going to sit at this restaurant all by yourself?”

“No sense wasting a good reservation.”

Phil picked up the regular menu. “You could’ve just asked me if you weren’t up for a proper date.”

Dan huffed as he tried to concentrate on reading the entrées. “What’s this then? A pity date?”

“No,” Phil replied as he flipped a page. “We’re just Dan and Phil. You should never stress if it’s just us.”

Dan paused for a second, feeling his general sense of unease ebb away. Phil may have had a point. He put down the menu. "Phil, would you like to stay and have dinner with me?”

Phil dropped his menu down a fraction so Dan could see his small grin. “Yeah. Anytime, Dan.” He lifted the menu back up, glancing over the mains. “You’re looking good, by the way. It’s like someone amazing dressed you.”

Dan snorted and shook his head. “Yes, something like that.“


End file.
